And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
