Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
