I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize