i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
