He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
