KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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