Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
