I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
