my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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