when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize
