Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
