ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
