How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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