Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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