if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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