The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
