I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
