We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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