This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize