ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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