Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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