so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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