i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
