Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
