But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
