I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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