The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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