"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
