Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
