Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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