We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
