you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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