you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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