non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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