And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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