Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
