Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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