is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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