I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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