and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
