every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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