ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
