I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
