easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
