im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
