I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
