She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it's great music for shaving your balls
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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