I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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