does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
