I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
