I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
