We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
