No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
