Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
