Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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