You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
