I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
