Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
