Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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