how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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