end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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