grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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