I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up under a house in Key West
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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